Is anybody out there?

I've been thinking more about blogging since our Proactive Min. in a Media Culture had a discussion regarding blogging and the tension between openness and transparency and privacy.  I haven't had a problem with blogging, although I did google myself this morning to see what came up.  You can't see any Facebook information on me unless you're a friend, and I have a photo and desciption of myself on the ELM's (Extraordinary Lutheran Ministry) website.  So if anyone is looking for me there not going to find much.  I tried my maiden name of Cara Schott and found even less. 
I've become more and more aware of how I want to act and behave as a total person--my "spiritual self" has become more integrated with my "day to day" self and how I conduct myself on FB isn't all that different to how I behave in church.  I share meaningful scripture on FB and use the word "ejaculate" in a sermon on the Incarnation.  But I haven't been as out as I'd like to be in my classes at Luther or in my blog. 
So here goes...I'm a lesbian in a publicly accountable lifelong monogamous relationship.  Maja and I were married in Aug. 2009 in Des Moines IA.  My mom threw a fit thinking we were going to create some big scene with the family that lives there.  We didn't. 
To be honest, sometimes when I write for my blog it feels like no one is reading this.  I've lost track of how many times I've gone on to post or to read over what I've written.  Just to clarify, I didn't just come out to shock my classmates into responding.  I'm just mulling over thoughts and mostly procrastinating finishing my sermon. 
So, Mary and whoever else may be reading, I hope you're enjoying the bright sunshine and warmth of the weekend.  I'll see you all in class
Cara

Share My World

After reading this week's assignment from Mary's book I went to Share My World's website.  I need to be reminded again and again how my privledge shelters and insulates me from oppression.  I remember driving down a street and seeing only African American people and feeling scared.  Why did I feel threatened?  Why does prejudice rear it's ugly head within me, combining with the power of my privledge resulting in racisim that is oppressive and destructive?  Where does redemption lie?  It seems the more I hear the stories of people victimized by oppression, the more the scales fall from my eyes of my own complicit participation. 
 http://www.sharemyworld.net/

Struggle

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:3-5

As our days lengthen and our thoughts turn to spring and as our semester is pressing down upon us and before us looms important meetings with synods, and committees, and congregations (oh my!) I got to thinking about a story a friend once told me about the Emperor Moth.  The struggle of emerging from the cocoon is vital and neccessary for a moth to fulfill the moth's potential.  So we too find ourselves immensely struggling in all sorts of ways--could it be our struggle is the vital and necessary to the fulfillment of what God calls us each to be? 

http://www.inspiring-quotes-and-stories.com/emperor-moth.html

No Nonsense Guide To The Digitization of the World in Conversation With Poverty

The No-Nonsense Guide to the Digitization of the World explains how information becomes digitized which allows for the potential for information to be spread worldwide.  If people mired in poverty need to be "kept in the loop" able to both access and contribute to this spread of information, then digitization is a great tool to assist in the fight against poverty.  Our society has created many devices to share and spread information and these devices "both identifies and privledges those who have it.  Those who do not are excluded".  To keep vulnerable people engaged and empowered through the sharing of information means that they too will need to have access to media devices and tools, which can be cost-prohibitive for many.  When we moved to MN to go to seminary, we decided to disconnect our cell-phones to save money and use phone cards for long distance calling.  While we have little economic means, we still are so incredibly privledged compared to many living in the Twin Cities due to the color of our skin and the level of our education which we hope will lead to more opportunities for us.  If we can't afford digital devises, I know many, many others wouldn't be able to as well.  Maybe public libraries could have stations with digital devices docked to them that people could sign up to use an hour at a time.  If we want to end poverty in MN, then those in poverty need to be able to take part in the conversation, working with others for the betterment of all people. 

New Wedding Shoes

My sister recently announced, over FB, that she was getting married.  Miranda is seven years younger than me and lives in Houston, where she's lived since she was 19.  While we have a good relationship, we don't communicate as often as I'd like.  So I was overjoyed when Miranda asked if she, Paul--her fiance, and Claire--Paul's sister, could come for a visit.  It had been at least a couple of years since I last saw my sister.  Over the week my sister and I reconnected, noticing similarities in each other's faces, certain gestures, turns of phrase, that just must have been a sister thing.  It feels so good to reflect back on family stories, reveling in our connection, our blood.  I've watched my sister grow up, seen her struggle in her teen years and early part of adulthood--struggling to come into her own as a person.  Now she's entering into a new phase of her life as she and Paul plan the beginning of the rest of their life together.  Never have I seen Miranda more happy and centered finding in Paul the counterbalance needed in life.  Even though the two of them wouldn't find themselves comfortable within the confines of Christianity, I see God beautifully reflected in the two of them and in their care and love for each other.  When Miranda left, she hugged me hard and began to cry.  She said, "I'm so proud of you, you're doing such great things with your life".  I told her I loved her and I was so glad she was my sister, and as they walked out the door of our apartment building, I told Paul to take care of her.  I'm asking him to hold her with care, to keep her safe, to share her confidences, and to bring her back to me soon.  Claire remarked that through this trip she's found new family.  Paul and Claire have moved into the widening of my heart, becoming new family.  I'm excited to have a brother-in-law and I'm very much looking forward to making a 20 hour road trip this June to celebrate with them this new beginning.  This occasion calls for a new pair of shoes--sparkly and new, unique and unusual.  I found just the pair and they came in the mail today.  Whadya think?

God's Trombones

Japan

Today in text study at our church I was asked if God up above is so helpful and loving, why do things like earthquakes and tsunami's happen?  This question was asked by a 75 year old woman who has struggled with the church's traditional answers to her questions of theodicy.  We talked some about the theology of the cross--that God is present in the suffering, but she still wasn't satisfied.  People who are outside of tradgedy can find comfort that God is present in suffering, but they aren't feeling the effects firsthand.  Our member finds value in the example of the life of Jesus, and the fact that he was killed for the work he did, admirable.  So what do we say when people ask the age old question of why do bad things happen to good people?  We can look to Job where God gives a vague and indirect answer to Job's questioning...God says, were you there when I created the world?  You try being God. 
But I felt that I failed to offer comfort, or illumination, or meet the need presented to me today in text study.  Sometimes what we have to offer isn't sufficient and a ministry of presence just isn't going to cut it.